Was he a mexican apple-thief??

Just got home, feel like shit and missing my sole nipple hair. What better conditions are there to blog the events of the past 2 days.

Wednesday. The calendar event of the UQ year. Market Day.

Our enthusiastic bunch of freshmen/women hit the Great Court early in the morning, with one single objective: get as much free shit as we could. Pens, waterbottles, bags, merchandise and food. Everything would be in abundance, and we were all going to be a part of it.

The haul was average at best. QUT were handing out T-shirts! UQ continues to dissapoint. The end of day tally was:

• 4 x enviro-friendly bags


• 5 x pens


• 2 x rulers


• 3 x waterbottles


• 2 x diaries
  

The fact that no money was spent on food/drink throughout the day made up for the sub-par amount freebies. Food scavange resulted in:

• 2 x hotdogs


• 2 x red bull


• 6 x ice teas


• 1 x coke


• 1 x popcorn


• 2 x cookies
  

(writing from hereforth is written 4 days afterward. Seriously don't remember shit)

Other significant events include inhaling a minga-load of helium, joining a cosplay-society (skeptical) and putting one of the complimentary sausages in a condom and throwing it at each other :)

It looks like tiny hamsters died on your face

I'll be straight forward. My day wasn't interesting. Hanging with my mates is cool, that's why they're my mates. But it's not blog-worthy. Why blog about something that even I don't find interesting??

So in order to totally PWN rachel's attempt at quoting scrubs (if you want to laugh at her miserable attempt, visit - www.rachel-maykay.blogspot.com ) I'll follow up with a more comprehensive, note-worthy and WHOOP ASS quotes/moments.

Season 5 - Ep 4 - My Jiggly Ball

Carla: If J.D. were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you do it?
Turk: That depends. What if there're hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him?
Carla: Let's say there's no women.
Turk: There's always women at the pool, baby!
Carla: Fine. He's in a pond.
J.D.: Oh, I would never swim in a pond! They're infamous for serpents!
Turk: You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays -- men only.

J.D.: Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.

Carla: N--oka--fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!

Turk: Oh! So now a brother can't swim!

J.D.: Why do you have to go there?

Season 4 - Ep 14 - My Lucky Charm

J.D.: Ohh, no, man, we're just living together. And not like, like, livin' together, I mean, like, liiiivin' together!

Season 6 - Ep 15 - My Long Goodbye

J.D: My mum had a uterus.... I lived in it.

Season 4 - Ep 2 - My Office

Dr. Cox: I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

<3>

I don't mind it a turtle's wink

I only pepper my conversations with cute animal imagery if I'm smitten. But I'm not. I am so gee-darn-mad right now. The institution at which I will spend the next 5 years of my life, can't even maintain a simple website, not allowing me to sign on to my courses.

I woke up at 7am this morning, even though I was up till 2am trying to beat Shan's high score on a facebook game. I didn't mind, it's for uni, had to be done. So heres how the events unfolded.

• logged into my-sinet at 7am sharp
• found out sign on was 11am
• hear rumours of a 9am sign on
• logged on at 9am
• found out sign on was 11am
• logged on at 11am
• the server shat itself
• sign on has been delayed till 2pm

This sucks major seal poop because now I'm imprisoned in my own bedroom chained by the burden of a piss poor IT department. GG UQ.

QUT anyone?

We're not like li~vin' together, we're like LI~VIN' TOGETHER~~!

As I fondle Katya, my pillow-girlfriend, I reflect on last night & todays events and attempt to summarise them into a blog-worthy post.

Last night was Bill's house-warming party. The lucky prick now lives in St Lucia, only walking distance away from our great & almighty UQ campus. That doesn't mean there are certain drawbacks though. A first year student hardly has the monetary measures to fund his own dwelling, so Bill shares his house with others. A cultural mix of various South American and Asian men. These guys seem pleasent at first, but we would soon found out you can't judge a hairy 22 year old Peruvian man by his cover.

The party itself was supercala-freakin-awesome =] A whole heap of BBC boys i hadn't seen since Schoolies had gathered, it was nice to touch see them again. A breif list of highlights include:

• Wheels' beer bong (a funnel connected to a long tube ending in a nozel. Beer or any other liquid for that matter is poured into the funnel, the froth accumulates at the top, leaving a 3 second burst of beer wen the nozel is released. A fast effective intoxicative mechanism)
• Mark Jones
• Shan's beer-ejaculation magic
• Captain Planet hookin up with 2 of Bill's flatmates

The last point is rather amusing. Although drunken party hook-ups are one off things, the 22 year old Peruvian man took it all too seriously. The sweet-talking Peruvian became a Perv-ian, and the Captain was on the run. Being the good friend I am, the Captain & I were able to cleverly avoid the Perv-ian through a collection of diversions, hiding spots and running away.

Renkert & I left at 1ish, putting another drunken marathon home that has become all too common to us. (we need a chauffer D: ) Back at his house, we had a D&M, cooling off on his drive away. I can make farting noises with my back. Holler.

Woke up FREEZING my jiblets off at 6am, drove home, and slept for a good part of the day.

Unfortunately, had to be shaken from my slumber, as my presence was required at UQ for a lame-ass awards ceremony. Boring. zzzz.

• Met Laurence & Guy there (BBC's ethnic ambassedors ftw)
• had a HUGE teste infront of my future engineering buddies *blush*
• listening to the lame ass jokes of faculty heads

There was eye-candy for all, if by all I mean every faculty except engineering. Great 5 years I have to look foward to. QQ

Adios Assface(s).

She'll need one of those cars you drive with your feet....

If anyone actually read this blog, they would have thought, "Oh, he's given up blogging already. He didn't even make day 3."

But no, I was merely over-exhausted from the intense WAKE-BOARDING session yesterday at manly. I returned home at approximately 6pm, falling asleep instantaneously, waking at 7am. Only a solid 13 hours of sleep. So heres how the day panned out.

Planned to meet Hippy, Tom, Alex, Killoran, Kirby and Sam @ UQ at 10 (to get ID cards).

Hippy, Tom, Alex came at 9:30.

I came at 10:30.

Killoran and Kirby came at 11.

Great organisation.

The disorgnised start to the day was no indication of what was to come, as Hippy took a look in his closet, and finally found the box of organisational skills that had been hidden from him these past 17 years.

Hippy, Tom & Alex, Gordon & Me (couples grouped together), arrived at manly for what we would later find out to be a sweet arse wakeboard sess. Only minor mishaps getting into the water, ie me letting go of the safety harness causing Gordan & me to have severly bruised hands. But as soon as the boat was in, we were kickin.

Only moments after entering the depths of the open sea, we all shat ourselves, as slowly drawing closer to us, was a menacing, black fin. O_______O"

But after a closer inspection and new pairs of underwear, it turned out to be a cute friendly & tasty looking dolphin :)

We set out into the deeper seas, whilst speaking of seaweed poop, shark-phobias and aqua-terds. Upon arriving at our destination, there was only question remaining. Who was gonna go first. Ofcourse, me being the only ethnic there, I was the classic candidate for the scapegoat. For those of you who have not wake-boarded before: it's freaking hard.

We all took turns in failing, until hippy strapped up and showed us how it done.

Tom also managed to 'stand up', if you count straightening your legs for 2 seconds and face-planting 1 second after 'standing up'.

During the trip, we also discovered Tom's girlfriend alex is a freakchild. Ballet dancer my arse, she belongs in Area 58.

So after many more failures, Hippy showing off and discussing Gordon's hairy torso, the rain eventually set in, sending us back to the shores.

An enjoyable day, with full apologies to Hippy for not trusting him. Suck shit to those who didn't trust Hippy, coz you all missed out :)

So here's to Hippy, and the crew of his maiden wakeboarding voyage.

Soon after the photo, a vicious blood thirsty dolphin dive-raped Tom and ate his arms. (which comes back to my title),

Thanks again Hippy.

You didnt go to assface school, but you seem to be an expert at that

Day 2 and still blogging...good start. Beats the previous effort.

Nothing like being woken up by my super awesome ringtone: 'Milkshake - Kelis'. Except that it was 8 am, and early morning starts DON'T bring my boys to the yard. It was Rachel (check out her blog: www.rachel-maykay.blogspot.com) calling. She has Thursday morning off at school, so we arranged an early morning meet up.

The plan was to play Sing-star back at my place, No.1 greatest past time. Time was of the essence, so I decided to pick her up from her school. I could sense her caution at having me drive, the asian driving stereotype and all....and secretly, I didn't trust myself either.

So after scrutinising Google Maps, I set out on a practice journey (to and back), so I didn't make an ass of myself infront of the paranoid woman. My precautions were redundant - I live 5 mins away from the place...way to waste my fuel rach :C jkslol

Leaving the house was a mission too. The people of the orient will know that asian parents are among the stingiest beings on the planet. Hence, I have no car. Double-hence, I had to 'borrow' theirs (they're not home during the day).
This procedure involves many minor details including:

• Placing marks where the the 4 tyres were to ensure i re-parked in the same spot
• Not adjusting the driver's seat, even though my leg can hardly reach the pedals
• Wiping the rain drops off every bit of the car (it was raining a bit)

Everything would be so much easier if i bought a Scooter like JD. Wolverines.

It was a problem free morning after that though, successfully picked up Rach, got some breakfast at the bakery and enjoyed a few rounds of singstar (I say win/loss was about 50/50 :P). After a solid hour of funsies, I dropped her at school and no harm done. No scratched hubcaps, no flat tyres, no dead possums.

Rest of the day:

• Met Hun and Renkert
• Got haircut
• Played pool
• Lost @ pool QQ

Big day tomorrow: ID cards, wakeboarding, clubbing, the whole shabam.

Goodmorrow.

Losing my blogging virginity

The titles a lie. I actually attempted to start a blog mid last year but commitment just ain't ma thang (it lasted 3 days). But lately I seem to be doing some interesting stuff; starting uni, going to parties, watching scrubs. So why not start chronicling my big moments in a big, public centrefold :)

I got off my lazy asian ass and worked out my university timetable. FRICK ON A STICK!! I have 23 contact hours. Thats only counting the hours I spend in lectures. Including idle time spent waiting inbetween lectures (probably playing pokemon or watching scrubs), I go to uni for 36 hours gaynormous :<

I'm doing Engineering/Science at the University of Queensland. The pretty pamphlets never told us we had to pretty much live at uni.

Right now, I'm watching scrubs. I love it. I can't get enough of it. It's my crack. It's the inspiration for my blog's title.

So I just decided to have a dominant scrubs theme in my blog :) maybe it will keep me from ditching my 2nd swing at this blogging concept. For the fans out there, try to pick out the quotes and references. For the Scrubs virgins, please, do yourself a favour and start immediately. Non-fans, get out >:C

So thanks for stopping by, and dont forget your car door :)

-Jewki