Saturday. Many teens were clenching their ass-cheeks around this time, as fast upon us was the start of our tertiary education. University :C I had actually looked forward to going to uni, but as of late, I had really begun to enjoy my freedom and renewed social life.
Depression was in the air. Maxwell Ross's spider-sense was tingling, and being the legend that he is, organised a pre-uni gatho at his house. We were saved.
Now, after a party, most would blog about the party, people they met, drunk girls/guys they hooked in with or the amount of alcohol they consumed. However, my blog will take a documentary type style, documenting the characteristics and activities of a female asian youth, away from its natural habitat.
Rachel went to Max's dress-up 18th (she is infamously known as Pikachu now), so she was no newbie to the party scene. However one fatal difference was that she did not consume alcoholic beverages then. On Saturday night, she consumed alright. Consumed like a negro at KFC.
We arrived upon the scene of public humiliation at 7pm. Myself and Simon had convinced Rachel to get drunk that night. I meant it lightly. Simon had other plans.
I started off by feeding her light drinks of Smirnoff and Sky, nothing major. There was a 30 minute block of time where I went off to play a game with Shan. Enter Simon. Armed with a bottle of Vodka spirits and a devilish wit, Simon systematically helped her into a state of severe intoxication (something like 10 shots in a matter of minutes O___O ). By the time I found out she was drunk, it was already too late. The nightmare of a night that she would later experience was set in stone from that moment onwards. Her 5 stages of decomposition went as follows:
- Losing sight of her surroundings, wandering aimlessly
- Slurred speech (which I consider severe seeing as how much she usually talks)
- Collapsing of legs + arms
- tri-minutely fainting spells
- OOEEHHHHHHHH *very viciously violent vodka vomit*
I had a drunk girl on the verge of unconsciousness in my arms throwing up the remanents of our mid-afternoon pizza. So sure I copped-a-feel *drool face*. A feel of her HAIR as I pulled it back so she didn't get vomit in it. Her spew-sess must have exhausted her, as she collapsed soon afterwards in exuberent fashion. *plop*
The next few hours, Dr. Yuki and his select nursing staff (ManLok, Alice and Alex) prevented the poor girl from dying of choking, neck braking, drowning (in her own vomit) and herpes. But it wasn't from a lack of trying on Rachel's part. Jesus. When I become drunkenly incapacitated, I just pass out.
The subject passed out at approximately 8:30pm, returning to the conscious world at 12:00pm. I can imagine it would have been startling from her perspective. One conscious minute enjoying a few friendly drinks. The next, waking to a pile of tissues soaking up her own vomit. But she was in good hands. Everyone there hardly knew her, but all were super concerned about her, amassing around her to share their concerns. Thanks to all :)
Ofcourse, there were the inappropriate among us. Notable contributions came from:
- Simon - "Dude take advantage of her while you can"
- Keg - Drunkenly plopping himself down beside her, nearly squasing her frail body in the process
- Campbell - "Let's draw on her"
- Bill - "Oh asians."
Admittedly, I also tried to feed her a dimsim while she was down but it was all in good nature.
Once the party animal rose from her coma, she immediately became demanding. If she wasn't in such a precarious condition, girl woulda got smacked. Jks, we love you Rach. One demand we could cater for however, was a shower. However, although every droplet of alcohol she had consumed now soaked through the roots of Max's garden, Rachel was still dis-orientated, and more unco-ordinated than usual. A shower was deemed too dangerous. Thus, ManLok won the nude-show lottery, and won the PRIVILAGE of 'watching over' naked, wet vulnerable Rach. Whatever went on inside the confines of the steamy bathroom remains a mystery to the rest of us, but I can tell you that it was an awfully long 'shower'. One can only imagine.
Afterwards, the little drunk girl got progressively better, and was jumping about by the time everyone had left =] GG
One might call Saturday night a terrible experience or poor Rach. I think of it more as a rite of passage, a pilgrimage that all youths must take at some point in their adolescent life. In all honesty I believe she was lucky to have got it out of the road at a party full of nice caring friends instead of a gathering of horny rapists. For me, it was nice to experience helping a friend in need, as more often than not, I'm the one dying on the floor. Thanks to those who have helped me in the past. I appreciate it with a new perspective now.
On the downside of this somewhat happy story, Rachel has more recently got owned by her parents in relation to Saturday night. Let us all collectively empathise for Rachel, and I'll personally apologise for your current situation.
SOWWIE LEHCAR :' (
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